Demigoddess 101 Read online

  What the…? The voice came from behind me, but as far as I know, my back is pressed up against the wall. Even then, I take a cautious look around. No one that I can see could have said it.

  Pinching the bridge of my nose, I sigh heavily. Maybe I’m not as together as I thought I was.

  Within minutes, the doors to the gym open and we’re herded in like mindless, muttering cattle. I realize it’s not much of a stretch when I look at the gibbering mass that surges through with me. Beth and I sit somewhere in the middle of the room, sliding into the little desks and pulling out what we need from our bags long before anyone can accuse us of cheating. I roll three perfectly sharpened 2B pencils onto the desk, followed by an eraser, a ruler, two blue pens and a pencil sharpener. No such thing as being too prepared, right?

  I hear Beth mumbling something behind me that sounds like a cross between a prayer and a plea. Others are going about their pre-test rituals too. Becky Stevens is banging her head on the desk—none too lightly. Dave Beckett catches my eye and quickly tugs his sleeves down, concealing scrawl in black ink on his forearms. And those are just the ones who caught my eye. Shaking my head, I return my gaze to my desktop. Who knows what the others are up to or what the teachers make of their ragtag band of students?

  Mr. Burnson, the head of the English Department—an odd choice to administer the Ancient Civilization exam, if you ask me—has started handing out the tests with the forewarning to leave them face down until everyone gets one. Not like we could do anything with the sealed booklets anyway.

  So now I’m drumming the beat to Jingle Bells on the desktop for some unknown reason, not that anyone can tell. Nervous energy. What can I say? It does weird things to you.

  It’s another few minutes before all the tests are handed out. Then, finally, we are allowed to start. The multiple choice questions are easy enough. I start filling in the little bubbles rapidly. There are a few that I stumble on, a handful that really slow me down. I decide to come back to them later rather than let them hinder my progress. The essay questions are just as straightforward. I pick two and expound on them, mixing pure regurgitation, facts and my own flair for words.

  With that done, I have roughly an hour to go back and look at the problem questions. Now that I’ve had a chance to think them over, the answers are obvious. All except for one.

  I slowly fill in one bubble only to erase it. I drag my hand back and forth from one bubble to another. Yes, it’s one question. But this is my future we’re talking about. I want the best possible start, even if the question is vague and pointless and involves something that I don’t ever need to know.

  “It’s that one.” A fine-boned hand sneaks over my page and points to the A bubble. “I smote their asses with a vengeance.”

  “What the hell!”

  The arm quickly retreats. I trace the path it took with my eyes until I find myself gazing up at a tall, statuesque woman in the strangest outfit I’ve ever seen. No wait. It’s not that strange. I’ve seen them before, as a matter of fact, while filling my head up for the subject of this very exam. But it’s definitely out of place here in this day and age. Who wears a toga now, except maybe drunk frat guys?

  “Ava? Do you have a problem?”

  The teachers presiding over the test, not to mention several students, are all staring at me curiously now.

  I immediately drop my head back down, mumbling, “Sorry.”

  I jerk upright again when a thought niggles its way into my consciousness. Doesn’t anyone else see this woman? I’m looking around and no one seems to be acknowledging her sudden, and really bizarre, appearance.

  “Hurry up and fill in the box. It’s not like I have other people to help.”

  I tilt my head and study her. “I’m not interested in cheating. Go away.”

  Her stunning gray eyes lock on to mine, her expression shocked. Then, with a muted pop, she disappears. Like, completely. She’s nowhere in the room. And I really am searching.

  “Ava! Will you please pay attention to your own work.”

  Mrs. Bernard is peering over my shoulder. I didn’t even notice her approaching me.

  “Are you all right?”

  Well, she isn’t known as the teacher with the bleeding heart for nothing. When she finds a cause, there’s nothing stopping her until she feels it’s been righted. And right now, I’m the subject of her concern. Quick! Before I become the cause of a sit-in or a rally!

  I know I’m blushing and seriously fighting the urge to start babbling like an idiot. And I know she probably thinks I’m completely guilty.

  I wave her off. “I’m okay.”

  “Are you sure? You’re acting a little strange.”

  I feel a little strange. I’m seeing a person who apparently no one else can see and she’s helping me with my exam. But instead of telling her that and risking being carted away in a straitjacket I say, “I’m fine. I think it’s the stress.”

  Luckily for me, Mrs. Bernard realizes that I’m not like that. I have never cheated on a test, nor would I ever consider it. She pats my shoulder and murmurs something that sounds comforting before returning to the head of the room. Whew. No rallies to save the sanity of Ava Goddard will be happening any time soon. I can see her explaining my situation to the other teachers. They all turn my way with concern written all over their faces. They just aren’t bothered enough to come over and whisk the test away.

  Tired of being here, I fill in the bubble that the mystery person, who I’m assuming was a hallucination, pointed to. I gather my things, get up, drop the test off and walk out without a backward glance. Once on the other side of the door, I heave a sigh of relief. Done!

  And not a moment too soon. My fragile brain seems to be at its limit. How tragic would it be to lose my mind just as I’m on the cusp of freedom? Snickering to myself, I wander around the near-empty halls to wait for Beth. She likes to take as long as possible revising her answers. I prefer to give my answers and leave before I feel the urge to start changing things.

  I’m already getting bored. A quick check of my watch tells me it’s only been three and a half minutes since I walked out and I’m already climbing the walls.

  Several people trudge from the gym—some look hopeful, others clearly the opposite. The strange thing is they are being trailed by toga-clad figures. A dark-haired woman is patting Becky on the shoulder consolingly. Dave looks like he is getting his already ungainly ego boosted by a blond man who is showing more leg than is really necessary. Becky and Dave don’t even notice them there, even though the two weirdos are hanging over them.

  My stares are gaining their attention now. Becky gives me a strange glance while Dave grins smugly and makes his way over, clearly mistaking my curiosity for something else.

  “Hey, Ava. What did you think about that test? Killer, or what?”

  I lift my shoulders in an automatic, nonchalant shrug. “It could have been worse.”

  He laughs as though he can’t believe I’m so calm about the whole thing. “So what are you planning to do after graduation?”

  “Maybe travel a little. Then university, I guess. I’ve been accepted at a few schools. I’ve decided on the one that gave me a big scholarship…”

  Not that Dave seems truly interested in university talk. It seems like he’s dying to tell me what he’s going to be doing, so I give him an opening. “What about you?”

  “Me and some friends are going to backpack around Europe for a couple of months. Isn’t that great? You should come with us, if you decide against university.”

  I mumble something noncommittal as I stare at the beautiful curly-haired man hanging over his shoulder as he whispers something to Dave.

  “Invite her along again. She likes you. Don’t take no for an answer.”

  I’m about to take a swing at the guy when Dave takes his advice.

  “Think it over. Do you really want to pass up on the chance to travel and party?” He winks. “Let me know if you want in. It’s going to be
the party of a lifetime!” Dave is distracted from his attempt at recruiting me by shouts down the hall. Several of his friends are out and waiting for him to join them. He pats me on the shoulder and saunters away.

  Apparently I was just a way to pass the time. Not that it bothers me. I was barely paying attention to him. What I was interested in was the man hanging over his shoulder. Dave didn’t seem to know he was there. How could he not? The guy was breathing all over him. And what kind of self-respecting jock would allow any man wearing a toga anywhere near him, let alone close enough to feel his breath? He seemed to hear him, though he didn’t seem to acknowledge it.

  Something really strange is going on here.

  “Ava, why didn’t you tell me about your plan? I told you mine.” Beth has finished her exam.

  “What are you talking about?” I start walking, knowing that she will follow. I don’t particularly want teachers hearing her since I know where this is going.

  “You know.” She waves at the gym. “That act in there.”

  “I wasn’t acting.”

  “Puh-leeze! You were acting crazy so they would pity you.” She slams her fist into a locker as we pass it. “It was brilliant. I wish I’d thought of it.”

  “What, and give up this whole Princess of the Damned thing you’ve got going on?” I poke a finger at her wild nest of hair.

  She fluffs her coiffure as if she’d just had it styled. “Mine was brilliant too. Yours was just more subtle. And subtle is good.”

  “What are you doing now?” I ask as we turn a corner and nearly trip on a student cramming for their next exam.

  Beth gives him a scornful look, but keeps talking. “I’m going to go home to recover from my harrowing experience.”

  “Yeah, all right. Your last final is tomorrow, right?”

  There’s a glint of envy in her dark eyes. “Yep. At least you’re done today.”

  “It just ruins my birthday, that’s all,” I snark.

  “Oh, I almost forgot!” Beth reaches into her bag and pulls out an envelope. “Stupid tests nearly made me forget.” Stuffing it into my hand, she settles back to watch me open it. “Happy birthday!”

  I open it to pull out a slip of paper. On it is Beth’s loopy writing promising to take me out shopping in celebration.

  “Thanks!” Giving her a big hug, I carefully slide the card into my bag. “Nothing like doing something new, eh?” We both dissolve into giggles. We shop together as much as we possibly can. We go out at least once every weekend, even if it’s just to window-shop.

  “Come on, then!” Despite the makeup, Beth still manages to look cheery.

  Well, like a cheery corpse, maybe.

  She puts her arm around me and steers me through the building for the last time. It’s exhilarating, but also a little disconcerting. How is one supposed to feel when leaving something so familiar? It is like jumping from bunny slippers to Manolos in one fell swoop. Even though leaving school and becoming incredibly successful in everything I do is something I’ve been anticipating, it’s still a little distressing to know that this is probably the last time I’ll be looking at the place I’ve spent most of the past few years wandering around in.

  We stop at the top of the steps, listening to the doors bang closed behind us. Beth looks at me and I look at her, both of us smiling.

  After a long moment, Beth tugs on my arm. “Come on. Let’s celebrate your birthday.”

  Chapter Two

  Goddesses, Jerks and Me, Oh My!

  So, here we are, strolling in the slowly waning sunlight, turning the corner to the sparse strip mall. It’s our favorite shopping spot—a place we come to as often as our bank accounts allow. Every landmark has been committed to memory. We could probably find out way blindfolded. Navigating traffic would be the hardest bit. But with a little luck and our determination to shop, yeah—we’d make it here just fine.

  As we turn the corner, I notice a strange woman kneeling by the rainbow-colored geraniums and marigolds that were planted last weekend. I know this because Beth and I spent an hour—no, an hour and a half, well, maybe a few hours—watching the hot gardener put them in while enjoying a refreshing Frappuccino or three.

  All thoughts of the man encased in the spanktastic tight denim are lost as we move closer. The woman appears to be talking to herself as she brushes her hands over the bright blooms, seemingly looking for something on the ground under the bright flowers. I tug on the hem of Beth’s baby T to steer her closer. Maybe we can help the woman out a little. Call it the innate Girl Scout in me. I have to assist if and when I can.

  “What are you doing?” She was about to reach the much-anticipated windows before being rudely redirected by me. For Beth, this is an offense that she’d want me strung up for. And at the moment, she looks like the jury in her head has already condemned me.

  I quickly explain. “I think that woman lost something. We should at least try to help her out.” I point at her, hoping that her situation appeals to the non-shopping obsessed part of Beth’s brain.

  Beth screws up her face after searching the area I’m looking at. “What woman?”

  “That woman.” I wave a hand at the poor woman as she shuffles about on her knees. “She looks like she needs help. Come on. It can’t take too long.”

  Beth sweeps her head from side to side looking over the spot I’m pointing at. “What are you talking about? There’s no one there. Has old age scrambled your brain or something? We’re wasting good shopping time, Ava. The mall closes in four hours.”

  I bite back a reminder that she’s a month older than I am. A fact that she always seems to forget. My gaze is drawn to the woman in obvious distress before I swivel back to look at my friend. She has to be messing around. “Yeah, and we’re wasting it arguing. Fine, I’m going on my own. If I’m not back in three minutes, call nine-one-one.”

  She shrugs and points. “I’ll be at The GAP.”

  I wave her off and quicken my pace to a merry trot, eager to help the lady.

  That’s when I hear it.

  “Come on, my darlings. Just try to grow. I know it is hard—this place is hardly what I would consider a good home for you. But you must try. Think about how much lovelier this place would be with you in bloom.”

  Miraculously, the flowers open, revealing their cheerful, bright blooms. Satisfied, the woman pops up to stand face to face with me. Her grin dissolves instantly.

  That’s a weird reaction. Do I look that scary? I try my friendliest smile. “Sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you…”

  She’s still looking at me as if I’m some weird apparition. Like I’m the weird one.

  My attention drops to her clothing…

  Oh.

  She’s wearing a toga.

  Yep, that proves it. I’ve lost my mind. Thanks to years of enforced learning, my brain has snapped and I’m hallucinating. Isn’t that one of the signs of schizophrenia? But why toga-clad weirdos? Where did that come from? Now I wish I’d taken a psychology class instead of taking that hour off. Obviously that little one-hour break I thought I needed wasn’t enough. I might as well have taken that class and pushed myself over the edge. At least then I’d have some clue as to what was going on with my pathetic psyche.

  As I stare at her, the woman does the same to me.

  She’s beautiful. That’s the short version of my assessment. Her hair falls in golden-honey waves to the waist of her pale pink toga. She’s slender and lithe looking. So much so that I’m pretty sure a stiff wind would knock her over. Her features are dainty. A pert nose, prettily pink lips with a perfect Cupid’s bow… And I realize I’m a little jealous of this figment of my imagination.

  Yep, folks. Ava Goddard is going to be on the cover of a magazine—Psychology Today. I’ll be wearing the latest straitjacket and the headline will read Girl Jealous of Hallucination, Doctors Consider Shock Therapy.

  The pretty hallucination waves her hand in my face as if she’s testing my eyesight. “You can see me?”
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  “Uh, yeah.” I squint my eyes at the petite woman. What’s the deal? “Why wouldn’t I? I thought I could help you look for something. That is, I thought that’s what you were doing.” I pause my babbling for a moment. “Do you always talk to plants?” Do I always talk to hallucinations?

  The comment seems to almost give her a coronary. At the very least, it compels her into some sort of conniption that has her bounding from side to side in front of me. “Can you still see me?”

  I follow her with my gaze, wondering just what I’ve gotten myself into. “Yeah, I can see you.” I point across the street. “Just like I can see that kid over there picking his nose and that dog over there leaving things his owner should be picking up.”

  “This has never happened to me before.” The woman looks really flustered now.

  She’s clearly out of her mind, and I’ve had enough. I’m not wasting another moment of my birthday on her. “I didn’t mean to upset you. Just forget I said anything.” All I want to do now is to get far away from her before she flips out and goes on a homicidal rampage. Wait. Can hallucinations do that? I don’t want to find out.

  Edging back toward Beth, I notice that Crazy Blonde, as I have dubbed her seeing as she is my creation, is following me and not being very subtle about it at all. I hear her footsteps behind me as plainly as I hear my own.

  This is ridiculous. All I want is to have a nice quiet shopping trip with my friend where we buy lots of stuff that is completely useless but very satisfying to own. Is that too much to ask for? So I turn around to tell her off.

  Nothing.

  Strange. I could have sworn that I heard her slapping the pavement with those sandals right behind me. I turn around again. This time I spot her trying to blend in with a birch tree.

  Does she think I’m stupid? I don’t want to get too close to her and choose to shout from where I am. “Look, lady, I’m sorry for bothering you earlier. I’m just going to leave you alone now.” Why am I treating her like a real person?

  She stamps her feet like a petulant three year old. “You saw me again!”